how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
