dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
