Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
