Are we in a gay sports bar?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
