i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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