Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
