I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
