Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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