I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
