evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
