Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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