Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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