My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
