So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
