I wannas sexs uuuuu
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
