Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Everclear isn't food dammit
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
