how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
