Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
