Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
