She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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