so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
