I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize