Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
