I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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