The maid of honor just puked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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