speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
