I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
