He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
