real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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