I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
