his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
