This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize