six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
