i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
