Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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