I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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