the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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