I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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