I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
