dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
