I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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