Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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