I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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