we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
