Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
