Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
