I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
