Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
