Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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