I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
