Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
