Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
