Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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