Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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