He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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