im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
