hotel room ftw
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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