69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
