She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
