I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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